In the case of stress-behavior, the child is not fully aware of what he’s doing. He has a limited capacity to restrain himself, or even to process what we’re saying. He didn’t act the way he did for the “wrong” reason; he didn’t act for any reason at all! Rather, his behavior was triggered by systems deep inside the brain that, when a child is under too much stress, heighten impulses while restricting the very parts of the prefrontal cortex needed to refrain from acting on such impulses. Punish a child for what was actually a stress-behavior and all you do is add to the child’s stress load, and your own.