Author: Chris Robinson

 

My interbrain gets a real workout

When it’s job is to co-regulate two or more people in the clinic

Peeling back centuries of self-control paradigm

To allow Self-Reg to see the light of day

 

Stuck in a myriad of Self-Reg snags

Come children and youth and their parents

When Sticks and Carrots are no longer working

All of them

Caught in their own unique stress cycle

 

A child, a parent, a parent-child relationship

Sometimes cuddling together

Other times separated, even by a bathroom door where

Confusing facial expressions are eliminated

Explore and reduce stressors

Experienced out in the world, but carried into the moment

Becoming calm enough

To explore why a child rages

 

How do I NOT hit mommy when I get angry?

Asks the child with sincerity

The mommy weeps

And I tear up

The positive bias of hope connecting their severed interbrains

Changing trajectories for a relationship and for a young life

 

Sibling teenagers

Slouching on the couch and looking bored

Sneak peaks at me and look intensely at their parent’s reactions

Learn together with their parent

Why they do what they do

Why anxiety is so prevalent in their generation

And stop the blame game

 

Conversation shifts to what’s working

Enjoying time alone shooting baskets is new

A huge step in self-reg for one

Who can’t be alone with his anxiety

While trying to negotiate his adolescent brain explosion

In a crazy stressed out world

 

Together the teens tell their parents that she’s doing a great job

And mean it

The mom weeps

And I tear up

The positive bias of hope connecting their severed interbrains

Changing trajectories for their relationships and for their young lives

 

Deepening self and other understanding and reducing stressors

While re-building the interbrain

Heals us all

Regardless of our age

Including me

The so-called professional in the room

The Self-Reg Dance Instructor