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Let’s take a dip into Self-Reg, exploring Stuart Shanker’s 2016 book in both English and French!

Extrait du livre nouvellement traduit en français, maintenant disponible Ă  l’achat – Votre enfant, Self-Reg et vous : comprendre l’autorĂ©gulation pour vivre mieux :

Fais plus d’efforts !

On entend cette phrase partout. On la rĂ©pĂšte sans cesse. Fais preuve de volontĂ©, contrĂŽle mieux ce que tu manges, ce que tu bois ou dis Ă  ton patron ou fais pendant ton temps libre. Tu devrais faire de l’exercice. Surveille tes dĂ©penses. RĂ©siste aux mille tentations qui te guettent et si tu Ă©choues — quand tu Ă©choues ! — redouble d’efforts.

Ce message qui nous revient sans arrĂȘt est le principal sujet de nos conversations sur la façon d’aider nos enfants Ă  rĂ©ussir. Pourtant plus nous nous acharnons, plus il est difficile d’imposer la maĂźtrise de soi. De plus, le but semble s’Ă©loigner, aussi bien pour eux que pour nous. Nous nous reprochons d’ĂȘtre faibles, les enfants font de mĂȘme. La culpabilitĂ© comme la honte contrarient tous les espoirs que nous nourrissons pour eux Ă  l’Ă©cole et dans la vie.

Les progrĂšs actuels en neurosciences dĂ©voilent peu Ă  peu les secrets de notre comportement. Et plus prĂ©cisĂ©ment les raisons qui nous empĂȘchent de nous comporter comme nous le souhaitons. (pour accĂ©der le reste du livre en français, cliquez ici)

Excerpt from the 2016 book Self-Reg by Stuart Shanker, recently translated by The MEHRIT Centre into French:

Try harder!

You hear it all the time. You say it yourself. Have more willpower, more self-control over what you eat, or drink, or say to your boss, or do in your free time. You need to exercise. Control your spending. Resist the endless temptations out there, and if you fail—when you fail!—try harder.

That’s the message we get constantly. And so much of the conversation about helping our kids succeed focuses on the same thing. But for them as for so many of us, it seems that the harder we try, the harder it is to impose self-control and the more distant the goal becomes. We berate ourselves for being weak. Children do the same thing, and the self-blame and shame work against every good thing we hope for them in school and life.

New advances in neuroscience are unlocking the secrets of why we behave the way we do. Also, we’re learning why it is so hard at times to behave the way we want. (continue to read the book Self-Reg)

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