A Reflection on Screen Time

Written by Lisa Engstrom, who has completed the following Shanker Self-Reg® learning with The MEHRIT Centre: Full Foundations Program, Enhancing Resilience in Children and Youth, the Self-Reg Learning Facilitator’s Program, Living, Learning & Linking Certificate Program, and Reframing Bullying.

Like most people, screens have become a necessary and integral part of my daily life.  With work, entertainment, and social interactions happening more through screens, it sometimes feels as though my phone has become an extra limb.  When I last travelled on public transit, I happened to glance up to see a stellar Canadian sunset.  The sun was setting over a majestic city skyline, the ocean was twinkling, glass windows and buildings sparkled.  It was breathtaking.  Hardly anyone noticed.  Heads were bent over phones instead.  What I realized in that moment was that being together is not the same as being present.  

When Being Together Isn’t the Same as Being Present

Being physically present in the same space does not equal real connection when my attention is trapped behind a screen.  Personal connection begins to erode when scrolling takes the place of shared moments together, when the distraction of notifications and responding to messages rattles my ability to concentrate and when texting replaces real time dialogue.  When it comes to devices, emotional distance, missed signals and hidden stressors are factors that are just as important as the passwords I use to access them.  Without meaning to, every glance at the device in my hand sends the message that this device is more important than the person that I am with.  

Looking at Screen Time Through a Self-Reg Lens

Screen time habits often make much more sense once I begin to understand how screen time impacts my nervous system.  Physically, I know that too much screen time contributes to eye strain, headaches and sore muscles from sitting too long and using poor posture.  Scrolling, gaming, online shopping, watching TikTok videos all create feelings of wanting to keep going, to see what is next, or pressure to finish what I started.  Mindless scrolling allows me to become numb to what I am feeling and to what is happening around me; which explains why I lose track of so much time in front of the screen.  Notifications and the constant stream of information and online images bombard my nervous system with stressors and all the while, my brain is quietly burning energy.  This is because ancient systems within my brain, that operate beneath my level of consciousness, actively override my depleted energy reserves and deploy neurochemicals that are designed to keep seeking novel digital stimuli.  Instead of appreciating a breathtaking sunset with the people around me, I find myself trapped in a loop of artificial stimulation with my brain ignoring its own signals for restoration and connection.   

What Is the Digital Pull Telling Me?

To shatter this digital loop, I need to wake up to it.  I need to recognize that my impulse to keep scrolling, respond to one more email or check just one more social media post are indicating that hidden stress has hijacked my nervous system.  Subtle shifts begin to ripple through my nervous system, simply by pausing and becoming more aware.  In the quiet space of awareness, the tight, anxious grip of digital overstimulation begins to loosen its hold.  To be clear; awareness creates this shift, not willpower.  This is why better policing of screen time at work or with our children and exercising more self-control has not really moved the needle when it comes to reducing screen usage.  Until we calm the nervous system, self-control and willpower only add more stress to an already overwhelmed nervous system.    

Finding What Restores Energy and Connection

These moments of pause create space for curiosity.  Why am I numbing myself with screen time?  Where is my stress coming from and how can I reduce some of it? Am I being fully present to what is happening around me?  Is responding to this text more valuable than being with the person that I am with?  I can thoughtfully swap solo digital scrolling for face-to-face interaction by engaging with the people that I am with, being observant of the world around me, participating in moments and activities with others, doing nice things for others, and really being available to the people that I am with.  Instead of fighting the digital pull, I can lean into the activities and hobbies and sunsets that leave me feeling genuinely satisfied.  I can put my phone down not because I am told to but because I have found something else that feels better than scrolling.    

Explore Shanker Self-Reg® Learning

If this information has sparked your curiosity, be sure to check out The MEHRIT Centre and Shanker Self-Reg.   Understand stress better and learn how to manage energy and tension by exploring stress within a framework of self-regulation.  

References:

Shanker, S. (2025).  Reframed: A Self-Reg Revolution (Revised ed.). University of Toronto Press.

Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective Neuroscience: The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions. Oxford University Press.

The MEHRIT Centre.  Website:  https://self-reg.ca.

Hopkins, S. (2026).  Screen-Time Meltdowns. Self-Reg blog.  https://self-reg.ca/screen-time-meltdowns.