Kindergarten marks a major transition in children’s lives: from being coddled infants to being treated as responsible individuals. They are students now, and as such they have to meet certain expectations, as noted in an article published...
Stuart Shanker
Dr. Stuart Shanker is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology at York University and the CEO of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd. Stuart has served as an advisor on early child development to government organizations across Canada and the US, and in countries around the world. Dr. Shanker also blogs for Psychology Today
“Reframing” Challenging Behaviour, Part 1: Blue Brain, Red Brain, and Brown Brain
The Different Kinds of “Why?” Parents of new babies are forever asking why. “Why is she crying? Is she hungry, wet, scared, lonely, bored?” Since we can’t just ask her, we put on our detective’s hat. We think back to previous occasions, experiment with...
See a Child Differently and You’ll See a Different Child
This was originally an article in the Self-Reg Parenting Magazine Vol 1 Issue 2. Take a look at this picture and tell me whether there’s something in the duck’s bill: Now take a look at this picture and tell me whether there is something in the rabbit’s...
No Such Thing as a Bad Kid
This was originally an article in the Self-Reg Parenting Magazine Vol 1 Issue 2 Children have such different ways of responding to being over-stressed. Some get physically ill. Some get nervous and anxious. Some become manic and hyperactive. Some have...
Blue Brain Red Brain Balance is the Key
Parents are forever asking us: “Can Self-Reg help me with my child’s challenging behaviours? Nothing I say or do seems to help.” Self-Reg will indeed make a difference—a huge one—in dealing with problems like explosive behaviour, aggression, defiance, tantrums,...
The Self-Reg View of: Freedom
Balance ⊢ Freedom I am still trying to understand the meaning of what we saw on the weekend of March 24, 2018: the March for our Lives. Teens around the world, rising up against – what exactly? The lack of gun control? Political apathy and cynicism? Insidious...
Teens and Motivation: Are We Focusing On the Wrong Part of the Brain?
In some ways, Janus would be the perfect symbol for Self-Reg. Partly, because Janus was the god of beginnings and transitions; but mostly, because Janus’ two faces were supposed to represent looking to the future and looking to the past. We might say the same thing...
The Self-Reg View of Constant Craving
Experiments are all around us, if only we take the time to observe and reflect on them. We just had one with our 16-year-old son that would have been so easy to dismiss as yet another absurd teenager annoyance. But this one clearly demanded a bit of serious thought....
Self-Reg: Looking to the Future
There is a widespread tendency to see resilience as a trait. For Self-Reg, it is an aspiration. We are constantly looking for ways to build a child or teen’s resilience: their capacity, as Ungar puts it, to access the resources that sustain wellbeing. And, Lord...
Why Does My Child Hate Math?
Neuroscientists have recently made a startling discovery as to why so many students these days are having trouble with math. Brain imaging has shown that starting at a young age, a simple problem in arithmetic can trigger...
Psychology Today: Why Does My Child Hate Math?
Math shouldn’t be seen as just a tool, or a compulsory subject. It is an enriching mental experience. Yet more and more young children are fleeing from it, right at the start. Read the Self-Reg view from Dr. Stuart Shanker in this three-part series on math for...
The Self-Reg View: Calm Begets Calm
In the 18th and 19th centuries, the Biblical aphorism that one should “Pour oil on troubled waters” began to be seen in literal terms, as an empirical phenomenon worthy of study. Benjamin Franklin performed an experiment on a pond to prove the wisdom of this practice,...
Perseverance vs. Compulsion
This is an excerpt of Dr. Shanker’s monthly article for Psychology Today. Read the full article, When to Push a Child, here. There is a fundamental difference between perseverance and compulsion. Perseverance is Blue Brain. It is...
Psychology Today: When to Push a Child
We all want the best for our kids, and these days there is a growing chorus of voices telling us that this means pushing them to work harder. Just about every aspect of a child or teen’s life these days is a competition. But to excel at school, sports, the arts,...
The Self-Reg View: Willpower Is Not the Secret to Success
We are in the midst of one of the most exciting and profound revolutions ever seen in our understanding of human functioning and development. As a result of striking advances in neuroscience, physiology and psychology, we are unravelling the complex interrelationship...
Psychology Today: Reframing IQ
If Self-Reg teaches us anything, it is that it is next to impossible to ever be certain about a child’s intellectual potential: even when this might seem to be set in stone. Children are forever surprising us, and for that matter, themselves. And the whole point of...
The Self-Reg View of: Overcoming Barriers
Back in 2001, David Sobel, an Education Prof at Antioch University in New England, published a fascinating book called Children’s Special Places. He was interested in the question of when and why children build forts. This typically begins around the age of 5 or...
Psychology Today: Why is My Child So Mentally Lazy?
The distinction between laziness and stress-behaviour is pivotal to Self-Reg, and absolutely critical if we’re going to help these kids – and their parents! – do well at school, and not make the problem worse. Read the full article here.