Blog by Kasey Edmonds, a Self-Reg Learning Facilitator’s Program Alumni
Stress Detecting: Recognising Stress with Self-Reg
Understanding stress is key to supporting wellbeing—for ourselves and for the people we care for. Dr. Stuart Shanker’s Self-Reg Framework helps us shift from a focus on behaviour to a focus on what’s happening underneath the behaviour.
Instead of asking, ‘What’s wrong with you?‘, Self-Reg encourages us to ask, ‘What’s stressing you?‘
In Self-Reg, a stressor is anything, inside or outside the body, that causes us to use up energy. And to truly understand stress, we need to look at it through five interrelated domains:
The 5 Domains of Stress
1. Biological
These are the physical and sensory stressors: hunger, illness, lack of sleep, noise, bright lights, movement, or even scratchy clothing. When our bodies feel off, it’s harder to stay calm and focused.
2. Emotion
This domain covers our feelings and emotional responses. Big emotions like fear, sadness, frustration—or even excitement—can become overwhelming and energy-expensive, especially if someone struggles to identify or process their emotions.
3. Cognitive
Thinking takes energy. Concentrating, problem-solving, following instructions, or facing unfamiliar tasks can be mentally draining, especially when too many demands pile up at once.
4. Social
Social interactions can be joyful, but also stressful, especially when navigating peer relationships, reading body language, or dealing with conflict. Even positive social situations can overwhelm someone who’s already running low on energy.
5. Prosocial
This involves caring for others and responding with empathy. For some children, especially those who are highly sensitive, trying to help others or feeling responsible for their emotions can be exhausting.
Case Study: Jamie, Age 7
Jamie is a bright, energetic student, but he often becomes dysregulated throughout the school day. At first, his teacher thought it was just ‘bad behaviour.’ But by taking a Self-Reg approach, she started to look deeper—and what she found changed everything.
- Biological: Jamie often skipped breakfast and arrived overstimulated after a chaotic morning. Bright lights and noise in the classroom drained him before the day started.
- Emotion: Changes in routine triggered big feelings. The unpredictability of the day left him emotionally on edge.
- Cognitive: Group time demanded attention, memory, and listening—all difficult for Jamie when his brain was already overloaded.
- Social: He misread social cues and felt overwhelmed in group settings.
- Prosocial: Jamie cares deeply for his peers and enjoys helping others. If another child was upset, he felt it too.
Through this lens, Jamie’s teacher realised he wasn’t trying to be difficult. He was experiencing allostatic overload. His energy was being drained across multiple domains, with no time to recover.
Why Hidden Stressors Matter
Many stressors aren’t obvious. They can be mistaken for laziness, disrespect, or defiance. Becoming a Stress Detective means looking beyond what we see and trying to understand what’s happening beneath the surface.
Stress isn’t always bad. Stress can motivate, help us grow, and keep us safe. But when it becomes chronic or intense, it takes a toll on both body and mind.
Final Thoughts
Being a Stress Detective means replacing judgment with curiosity. It’s about asking, ‘What might be causing this stress response?‘ and using that insight to reduce stress, support recovery, and create environments where people feel safe, seen, and supported.
When we use the Self-Reg lens, we don’t just help kids like Jamie, we transform the way we understand behaviour, relationships, and resilience.
