By Shannon Calladine a Self-Reg Learning Facilitator Alumni
Self-Reg is science!
Self-Reg is a process. Self-Reg has five interwoven steps: reframe, recognizing the stressors, reduce the stress, reflect and restore. When we look at reframing, we look at behaviour as communication. What is this behaviour telling me? We get our clues from step 2, recognizing the stressors. We become stress detectives. Searching all 5 domains of Self-Reg for potential stressors: biological domain, emotion domain, cognitive domain, social domain , and the prosocial domain.
We can use the visual of a backpack to see how heavy these stressors can be. Picture a child wearing a backpack stuffed with all kinds of things! Hunger, thirst, illness, hot, cold. Dealing with scents, bright lights, loud voices. Sitting still for too long on hard chairs, while feeling tired, and wearing uncomfortable clothes.
Let’s add more to that backpack! Let’s add fear, anxiety, disappointments. Keep adding! Grief, divorce, loneliness, depression. Let’s throw in a little conflict, anticipation, and embarrassment.
Let’s add a dash of time pressure, tests, difficult tasks. A splash of boredom, concentrating, interruptions , and confusion.
That backpack is starting to look heavy! But we’re not done. Throw in some peer pressure, group work, public speaking. And how about some confrontation, social media, bullying, or being excluded.
Just when you think the backpack is about to burst… add some injustice, world events, moral dilemmas, and other people’s stress. Let’s top this all off with being late, feeling unprepared, and dealing with other people’s limbic reactions.
Phew, that’s a lot!!!
Now picture the poor child that is carrying this backpack around. Picture the weight of this on them. Look at this child’s face. Are they happy and smiling? What clues could they be giving us that this is too heavy of a load to carry? Could they use behaviour to tell us? Can you see their tension going up? Can you see their energy coming down? Can they cope with the weight of all this ‘stuff’? Could you?
What if we could help them take some of this out of their backpack? What if they were met with calm in a difficult moment? What if we could soothe? What if we could get their thinking brain back online? What if they could spend the day learning? What if we could help reduce the stressors?
14 Comments
We have to make sure and be there to help the children and not to over burden them with “to much”. We have to try and not add any more stressors to there already hectic life but to be there and show them that life is not all about stress.
Such a great point, Tan! How can we ensure that we do this? I would love to hear more of your thoughts.
Aviva
Playing a game or an activity they like and are intrested in.
Thanks for sharing! Do you notice the positive impact of making these choices?
Aviva
Oh my goodnesss!! that sounds like the backpack my D carries. I can see it in his face every morning. I do my best to lighten the load by greeting him with a warm welcoming smile, and ask him how he would like to start his day? He will often ask me to carry his backpack, as it’s too heavy. LOL I don’t think it’s the same heavy we are speaking of. We do our best to enbrace the day with positive, fun and sometimes peer interaction.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Terryrae! How do you find D. responding to the experiences that you provide for him? Do these choices make for a positive day? I would love to hear more.
Aviva
“Use the visual of a backpack to see how heavy these stressors can be” was something i really like about this article.
Thanks for sharing! I’d love to hear more of your thoughts about this. What really resonated with you here?
Aviva
A very clear and touching article, explaining Self-Reg in a simple and real way. It reminds us to be calm and supportive with children. I really like the backpack example, it helps me understand how much a child is carrying.
Thanks for the comment, Nikita. I wonder if thinking about this backpack, changes how we might respond to children and behaviour. What do you think?
Aviva
the visual of the backpack help me to understand better about the stress and how i can see a child from using this imagen. this example is complete real for me.
Thanks for sharing, Magali! How might you use this image with others? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Aviva
I liked the backpack example because it showed how children can carry many different stresses every day. It reminded me that behaviour can be a sign that a child is overwhelmed and needs support, calm, and understanding.
Thanks for the comment, Sara! Such important points here. How do you stay intuned to a child’s stress? I would love to hear more.
Aviva