I’ve been thinking a lot about creating Self-Reg Havens these days as we get ready for the new school year. One big question that is not so easy to answer is: what makes a home, an early childhood centre, a school, or a community a haven? Stuart Shanker says he knows when he is in a Self-Reg school within about 90 seconds of walking in the front door because you “just feel it”. I know exactly what he means. But how do we define the “knowing” in some kind of concrete way? Another question from the TMC perspective is: how can we help those who are trying to figure out what actions to take to become a Self-Reg Haven?
In the video below you’ll see that after dropping off my daughter Siena at the amazing Camp Kawartha Environment Centre this morning, I realized that one important starting place was: I KNOW a haven when I find one.
You probably do too. Just think of your favorite place to be and then consider what makes it so special.
Siena’s camp is clearly a haven on so many levels. I will share some photos and more details on the camp and what’s so special about it in my next vlog. But today I wanted to explore some thinking about:
- The different kinds of Self-Reg journeys
- Why there really is no real way of “getting ready” to be a haven
- That the decision to be a haven can happen on a dime
- That Self-Reg gives us the “how”
Do share some of your own ‘haven thinking’ in the blog comments. I’d love to hear more of your perspectives on finding and creating Self-Reg Havens.
Wow!!! Thank you Susan , so many take a way’s here. Self regulation is the science between our spirit journey. How amazing is that!! What I will carry with me is when you said ” It is not just what is planned it is what is lived!” So special and important.
Great words to live by.
Dear Sara:
I definitely feel like there is a spirt level to this work. It is so much more than managing behaviours or emotions or a bucket of strategies to reduce stress.
The work of Ted Aoki on the tension between curriculum as planned AND lived experiences always resonated with me. Thank you for the response.
Susan
What a lovely video, thank you Susan! i really liked the connection you made between the science and self-reg becoming a spirit journey. What a fantastic way of describing it. I found the quote, “it is not just what is planned it is what is lived” to be a way of not only encaging the children in the learning but extending it beyond with their ideas and thoughts and how they think about things. When this happens it opens up a whole new dimension to teaching and having the children feel part of the lesson.
Thank you for the response, Chris.
I began learning the science that underpins Self-Reg and how to apply it as an educator and educational leader over a decade ago. I really thought I knew what self-regulation was and was quite shocked to realize how many variations on the definition are out there and why it mattered so much. I soon began to realize that it was about so much more than my job. It has changed who I am as a mother, a human, a colleague and a friend. There is definitely a spirt level to it in my life. Glad that resonated for some folks.
I loved your idea about opening “up a whole new dimension to teaching and having the children feel part of the lesson.”
“It is not just what is planned, it is what is lived”. Wow, there is so much to reflect on and think about what we can do collectively in this profession. How do we support children and families with a space and environment that allows them to be them, in the most authentic and connected way possible? This is big.
Thank you for the response Yi-Han!
What an important point you made when you mentioned “what we can do collectively in this profession.”
Educators change lives.
Susan
What a wonderful video so many great points to take away and learn from. I really like the connection you made between Self-Reg and a Spiritual journey. I like the idea of the children we work with being involved and feeling part of the lesson.
This is fitting with your quote “It is not just what is planned it is what is lived”
I believe that when children feel safe and loved and valued, the learning that takes place comes natural.
Thanks for your response Carolyn. Your last line says it all: “I believe that when children feel safe and loved and valued, the learning that takes place comes natural.”
Susan
Dear Susan,
The irony here of me living life, also as a single Mom, working full-time and taking courses to grow and learn, and better serve, while also feeling my own stress and blocks to learning, doesn’t escape me.
What you said about how everything essentially comes back to the five steps within the five domains of Self-Reg is something I actually felt in this module because of my own increased stressors this week. I watched each video twice because I wasn’t absorbing anything at all. I normally feel joy with this work, but I felt pressured to learn and say the right thing, all the while taking care of everyone in my world. Who I forgot to take care of was myself.
I’m sharing this because, when I got to your video, you not only said, but you also did something that lifted something in me. You said (and used) “soft eyes and compassion” is how we need to see and meet someone’s limbic responses. Watching your video about havens, spoken with a gentle tone, along with your offer of support in any way you can help, reduced the stressor within me that I’d put on myself.
Laura and Samantha have also been very clear about being supportive and accommodating to anyone who may need it and this goes a long way to allow me, (a grown woman), to be receptive to learning.
The way this translates to children, who live in that connected state of energy, and rely on us, as higher brained individuals, speaks volumes to how important it is that we take care of ourselves, and use the 5 steps of Self-Reg reflectively on ourselves so we are able to lend our calm to children.
The sense of a haven, and the peaceful, intuitively knowing, that comes with being in such a space, has so many layers, yet, as you stated, has no real beginning. For me, the beauty lies within the fact that you can just chose it.
Soft eyes, meeting moments with compassion, loving and accepting the child for who they are and where they’re at, combined with knowing when to follow the child and throw out classroom management, and welcome safety and love, is profound.
Thank you for delivering this within a safe, and compassionate framework.
Shannon
Lots to think about here, as I am not an ECE but I work with them to increase their skills.
I feel these things when I am with them- compassion, curious, open, reflective, supportive and empathic. I’m hoping I can support them in their relationships with the children they care for by supporting them as ECE’s.
I can’t wait to work towards embedding Self-Reg principals and processes in kindergartens and child care centres. This is the change that’s needed so badly for our most vulnerable kids.
Havens! what a lovely way of looking at a classroom. It really does bring all the points combined of self reg into physical relation and actuality. To me its like the five domains make the body and the safe Haven is the quilt which covers it. Absolutely beautiful!