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Self-regulation completely changes what we think, feel, see, and do, and every bit as important, what we don’t think, feel, see and do! Rather than berating ourselves for a lack of self-control, or constantly exhorting our child to “make a greater effort,” we need to recognize why we have an overpowering craving, or why our child gives up at the slightest hurdle. That’s what self-regulation ultimately teaches us: that the secret to a successful and satisfying life lies, not in somehow “strengthening” our willpower, but in reducing the intensity of the impulse, the urgency of the urge.

Full article here.