Blog by Self-Reg Learning Facilitator Certificate Program Alumni, Stela Haralala
The other day, I was walking by a lake. It was quiet, the sun was low, and the water was still enough to mirror the trees along the edge. I wanted to capture a photo: the light, the lines, the stillness. But because of the angle of the sun, I had to step into the water a little. In doing so, my own shadow interrupted the reflection I was trying to photograph. Instead of a clean image of the trees, I saw myself; blurry and awkward right in the middle of what I had hoped to capture. That accidental reflection stayed with me. On the walk home, I kept thinking:
I’ve always felt like I’m running behind. No matter how much I get done, there’s always something more; another task, another deadline, another reason to push. My body and brain had become wired to constantly say “go, go, go,” without ever asking why. I used to think I was being productive. But really, I was just stuck in a stress cycle I didn’t have words for.
Before learning about Self-Reg, I didn’t realize how often I was ignoring the signals my body was sending me. I wasn’t just tired. I was depleted. I used to think “rest” meant taking a break. But what I was doing wasn’t resting; it was crashing. My nervous system wasn’t choosing rather demanding it.
Self Reg, Reflect helped me slow down enough to ask a deeper question: Why?
Why am I pushing so hard?
Why does slowing down feel unsafe?
Through this process, I’ve started recognizing both my daily and hidden stressors. But more importantly, I realized what I’m facing isn’t just stress. It’s dysregulation. I wasn’t in “go-go-go” mode because I was ambitious. I was running from the fear of losing time, of missing out, of falling behind. That fear became my engine. And ticking one more item off my to-do list only gave me a brief illusion of relief. It never actually helped me break the cycle.
Self-Reg has taught me that stress awareness isn’t just about noticing when I feel overwhelmed. It’s about listening: really listening to what my body and mind are saying before, during, and after stress. Now, I’m starting to see that reflection isn’t about judgement. It’s about curiosity. It’s about pausing, and asking gentle questions and accepting my own answers.
That moment at the lake reminded me what I’ve been missing. I’ve been so focused on what I need to do that I forgot how to simply be.
Now I know that I have permission: to pause, to slow down, to notice, to breathe.
