Everyday Self-Reg: Manners and Courtesy

Everyday Self-Reg: Manners and Courtesy

When I was a kid I had a very negative view of manners. I was taught manners and forced to use them. But I didn’t understand what they were for. To my 10-year-old self, manners felt like a form of social control, rules dreamed up by adults who felt driven to make kids...
The Self-Reg View: Calm Begets Calm

The Self-Reg View: Calm Begets Calm

In the 18th and 19th centuries, the Biblical aphorism that one should “Pour oil on troubled waters” began to be seen in literal terms, as an empirical phenomenon worthy of study. Benjamin Franklin performed an experiment on a pond to prove the wisdom of this practice,...
Three Signs My 8 Year Old is Learning Self-Reg

Three Signs My 8 Year Old is Learning Self-Reg

I hear a child shriek outside my front window and run outside, Siena right behind me. A little boy has fallen off his bike. His sister is helping him get up and he’s wailing. He’s seven she is maybe 11. I’ve never seen them before. I see that he’s got bleeding scrapes...
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