By: Lisa Cranston, EdD
Reward System: stickers in classrooms
Jenni and her mother pull up in front of the school. Jenni started kindergarten two weeks ago and every day when her mother drops her off, the separation is marked by tears and screaming. Jenni’s mom reminds her, “Remember – no tears today Jenni and you’ll get a sticker on your sticker chart. When you have five stickers, I’ll take you to McDonalds.”
In the grade 1 classroom, students enter the classroom and set their agendas open on their desks so that their teacher, Mr. S, can check to see if their parents signed yesterday’s entry. Four of his students are on a sticker program. “Good morning Michael,” he greets one of them. “Let’s try to have a good day today so that we can put another sticker in your agenda.” A “good day” for Michael means staying in his seat and completing his seat work.
In Ms. J’s grade 5 class down the hall, the sticker program is a whole-class reading incentive program. For each book they read, the students receive a sticker. When their sticker chart is full, students can redeem it for a gift certificate from the local pizzeria.
Reward System: a self-control lens
Sticker reward programs like these are problematic for many reasons. First and foremost, they are founded on a self-control paradigm, not one of self-regulation. When using a sticker reward system, the adult is assuming that the child has full control of his or her behaviour and could demonstrate the desired behaviour if they wanted to, but sometimes choose not to do so. The role of the adult becomes one of incentivizing and rewarding appropriate behaviour. The belief is that if the adult rewards the desired behaviour with stickers and other incentives, then the child will work harder to demonstrate those behaviours and repress the undesired behaviours. Ultimately, the hope is that the child will develop stronger willpower and will eventually be able to fully control their behaviour.
Reward System: a self-regulation lens
In self-regulation, we always start by examining the behaviour we’re seeing in order to determine whether it is misbehaviour or stress behaviour. Misbehaviour is within the child’s control; the prefrontal cortex is running the show. But when a child is demonstrating stress behaviour, they are not able to control their behaviour; the limbic system is controlling them and their behaviour. As the adult, our role is to lend children our calm, to use our knowledge of self-regulation to support the student, to help turn off those limbic alarms, and to co-regulate with them as they develop their own self-regulation skills.
In Jenni’s case, she usually settles into the classroom routines a few minutes after arriving. The teacher, ECE and parent can work together to determine what stressors are impacting Jenni each day at drop-off time. They can collaborate on how to reduce those stressors for Jenni. They will lend Jenni their calm and co-regulate with her during arrival time, until she is able to self-regulate during this transition.
As parents and educators, we also need to look at the expectations we have for children. If a child is demonstrating stress behaviours, they may be telling us that our expectations are too much for them. Reducing the stressors may mean changing our program or our routines. If we are asking young children like Michael to sit for too long, listen for too long, or complete too many worksheets, then no number of stickers is going to be enough incentive for a child who is not developmentally ready. These expectations are creating stress across multiple domains for Michael and students like him.
Exploring Other Ways
Instead, we may need to rethink our program. How can we make it more developmentally appropriate? Rather than a worksheet where the child is circling all the pictures that start with “B”, we can have students go on a scavenger hunt for things in the classroom that start with a “B”. Instead of cutting out pictures of a story and gluing them in order, we can have them retell the story in sequence using puppets, felt board pieces, or using acetates on the light table or overhead. By reducing stressors across the domains, students can demonstrate the full range of their learning and understanding.
Understanding Intrinsic Motivation
Whole-class reading incentives like the pizza program used by Ms. J have been shown to have a negative impact on student attitudes towards reading. (Cunningham, 2005; Kohn, 1999). When we incentivize behaviour, we run the risk of extinguishing pre-existing intrinsic motivation. Instead, we can look to reduce stressors for those students who seem to be reluctant readers. Some students may need alternate seating. Rather than reading at their desk, they may prefer to lay on the class carpet, read while seated on a cycle seat, wobble seat, or on a soft cushion. Some students may need to find a quiet spot or wear headphones to reduce distractions. Other students prefer reading as a social activity. Once a week, my grade 3s could read with a partner or small group. Some of the most reluctant readers suddenly became the most engaged.
Another strategy to reduce stressors for reluctant readers is to provide access to a range of genres and to demonstrate to students that reading different genres is not only acceptable but desirable. Many students in primary and junior grades (K – 6) perceive reading chapter books as ‘real reading’ yet for some students the type of reading required by chapter books – sustained, beginning to end reading – is a cognitive stressor. Some readers prefer books that allow them to dip in and out of the book, where they don’t necessarily have to read the whole book from beginning to end, such as non-fiction books, joke books, books of facts and lists, or books of poetry.
Reward System: the shift from self-control to self-regulation
By viewing behaviour through a lens of self-regulation rather than self-control, we shift our view of the child from one of a child who won’t or can’t to a view of a child who needs the adults in their life to help them and support them develop skills and strategies for self-regulation. This is a very different role for the adult than being the person who doles out punishments and rewards, including stickers.
Don’t get me wrong – stickers are fun! I’m not saying that teachers and parents should never give children stickers. But we need to be thoughtful and purposeful about when and why we use them. Just last month, I got a sticker when I donated blood. I wore that sticker proudly for the rest of the day. But I don’t donate blood so that I can get a sticker. I donate blood because it makes me feel good to help others. I do it for the intrinsic reward, not for the sticker.
For our students, the intrinsic reward may be feeling calm, feeling regulated, or feeling immersed in a good book. It may be the feeling of mastering a new concept, become a stronger reader or better mathematician. Creating a culture that views behaviour through a lens of compassion, empathy and self-regulation will help students reach their fullest potential as learners. This will support them develop their own self-regulation strategies, far more than any sticker program could ever hope to achieve.
References
About Lisa
Lisa Cranston has over thirty years of experience as an educator in Southwestern Ontario. She spent the last eleven years of her career in education as the educational consultant for kindergarten and primary grades. She lead the implementation of Full Day Kindergarten for her school board from 2010 – 2015. Now retired, she is an online course facilitator for the MEHRIT Centre. Lisa believes that Shanker Self-Reg® has changed how she views both her own behaviour and that of others. Her goal is to help others ‘lend their calm’ to those around them.
69 Comments
I really enjoyed this. A huge take away that developing a culture that views behavior through a lens of compassion , empathy and self-regulation will help people reach their full potential!!! If only our world would be like that. I think of the book “What if everyone did that? by Ellen Javernick
I really resonate with this. Shifting our mindset to view behavior through a lens of compassion, empathy, and self-regulation truly changes everything. When we pause to ask “What is this behavior telling me?” instead of reacting, we create space for growth rather than shame. That kind of culture doesn’t just support children — it helps everyone feel seen and capable.
Your connection to What If Everybody Did That? is so powerful. That story beautifully highlights how our individual choices impact the collective. Imagine if everyone chose empathy first — what a different world it would be. It’s a hopeful reminder that even small, intentional responses can ripple outward in meaningful ways.
Thanks for your comment! I really like your words — “imagine if everyone chose empathy first.” What would be needed for this to happen? This could be incredibly powerful.
Aviva
Interesting to hear that we are missing the childs message when they are demonstrating stress behaviours, it is actually a sign that our expectations are to high, and we need to be more aware of this.
Well said Angela!
We as adults definitely need to look at the big picture and not always assume the worst when behaviours arise.
Thanks Amy! What do you think makes this easier to do? I’d love to hear more.
Aviva
This is very interesting . Knowing the difference between misbehavior and stress behavior
I agree with you 100% this has helped me be a better teacher with my students. Meeting their needs more positively.
This is a great lesson to all, as many parents/caregivers and ECE’s, me included, should really be more attentive when observing the actions of the child, to determine if it’s misbehaving or stress behaviour. Going forward, I will definitely take that extra time to step back and observe the behaviours I see within the classroom, and with my own children at home.
Thanks for your comment, Amy! What a great reminder to all of us. I’d be curious if you do see behaviour differently in this way, and what you notice. I definitely find myself viewing behaviour differently, the more that I learn about Self-Reg.
Aviva
Stress behavior and misbehavior and to always ask the why in all behavior. How we ourselves interpret the impact the environment has on a child and then observe stress behavior and misbehavior is huge. Misbehavior and stress behavior are still communicating and how I or another person responds can often result in emotional outburst, impulsive actions etc… Its my role to foster regulation skills by remaining calm under pressure, and make choices that support children so they feel safe to learn and are able to reach their full potential.
Thanks for sharing this Julie! What do some of these choices look like for you? I would love to hear more.
Aviva
I find this super helpful too. I often found with some students that we focus more on the strategy that they are using then the the behaviour itself.
Thanks for sharing, Sarah! How do you see possibly changing this? I would love to hear more of your thoughts.
Aviva
A mi también me parece interesante debemos los adultos diferenciar las situaciones de estrés de nuestros niños, niñas y no condicionarlos con recompensas que a la larga no surten ningún efecto, lo que debemos es enseñarles estrategias pequeñas y eficaces para que regulen sus emociones.
Thanks for your comment, Hilda! Can you explain what this might look like? I would love to hear more.
Aviva
Very interesting perspective and a moment of reflection aswell and self learning to identify and be mindful of where actions are brought on by stress or misbehavior.
This really gives us something to think about. The difference between misbehaviour and stress behaviour will help us look at situations differently.
I absolutely agree. To know and understand the difference between stress behaviour and misbehaviour is huge. It can so easily be misunderstood
Absolutely, and it’s possibly one of the biggest challenges for classroom teachers to understand and then allow themselves to take the time to manage the stress rather than it reaching what is perceived as a behaviour.
Such a great point, Jane! Why do you think this is so hard? What might be needed to support a change here? I’d love to hear your thinking.
Aviva
Stress and behaviour are clearly different. Behaviour is a sign, a form of communication that we need to be aware of and understand whats driving it.
Brian, the difference between stress behaviour and misbehaviour was big learning for me when I first started reading Stuart Shanker’s work. What are some different ways that you help to understand what’s driving behaviour? I’d love to hear more!
Aviva
This is very interesting
Thanks for your comment, Edem! I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on this.
Aviva
Sticker reward systems focus on self-control, but a self-regulation approach is more effective. Reducing stressors, adjusting expectations, and fostering intrinsic motivation are key.
Share
Retry
Tell
Thanks for sharing, Patti! What do you think a Self-Reg approach would look like here? I’d love to hear more.
Aviva
I really related to the sticker situation. I always hate the picture of a child not getting a sticker when the rest of the class did because he couldn’t cope. How does that child feel??? Shifting to view behaviour through a self regulation lens would make children feel capable, seen and safe.
Thanks Ingrid! I really like your point here. I think this is why I tend to avoid extrinsic rewards. Sometimes I find they cause more stress for students. What do you think?
Aviva
So impactful, as it’s vital to dive deeper in looking at the WHY in behaviors, so we can support children’s well being.
Thanks for your comment, Wendy! I completely agree. What are some ways that you do this?
Aviva
Thank you Lisa for an incredible post with lots of examples as it helps to understand the purposeof the post better. It is more clear for me the difference between stress behaviour and misbehaviour (I just started self-reg course). I also picked up a few ideas for myself on how to get children involved in some activities. I absolutely agree that the reward should be deserved, and not be a goal.
Thanks again for an informative post.
Thanks so much for sharing, Vera! I would love to hear more about the changes you plan on making based on this post. It would be great for everyone to share different things they are doing.
Aviva
I believe the process is vital, how we learn and what we learn. These moments become building blocks, a foundation for the next level of learning. Every moment provides countless learning opportunities and I believe it’s my role to support children so they can learn. I like to foster independence but be available when children need comfort, love, encouragement, space, words of affirmation. I encourage children by helping them express their emotions, through arts, play, expressive language, sign language and and a variety of other language enhancing experiences. I believe I should set their environment up to promote success and be almost like their external emotional, also encourage exploration and love for learning.
Thanks for your comment, Julie! I was really taken by your point about setting up the environment. Can you tell me more?
Aviva
Amazing, I now understand more when kids seem to be stressful or misbehavior.
And i also agree with the stickers award! Lots of schools or daycare use that as way to gift the child but were putting more pressure. There is more ways to reward a kid. They will be use to having to work to get stickers that they won’t actually learn themselves.
Thanks for your comment, Emmy! I know that these kinds of token rewards can still be common for many. Have you seen or heard of ways that avoid these rewards? I’d love to hear more!
Aviva
Something that really sticks with me is looking at the situation as
-Is it misbehaviour?
-Is it stress behaviour?
Then working out how to minimise the stressors.
These are definitely great questions to ask! Is this something you’ve done before? How do you help differentiate between misbehaviour and stress behaviour? I’d love to hear more!
Aviva
I totally agree, schools are a very stressful place for many of our little people. The number of “new” people, learnings, routines, words, equipment, expectations. Being able to differentiate for students is the key but there are always buts. The ratio of little people to the adults supporting them makes this very difficult for early educators.
Thanks for your comment, Stacey! I wonder about the impact that Self-Reg could have here. Knowing our contrapuntal, what might help? Thoughts?
Aviva
As a Mandarin teacher, I love using colored stickers in my Mandarin class to teach colors to children aged 3-7 in Mandarin, and it works really well! Each child can choose 1-3 of their favorite color stickers and share the names of those colors in Mandarin with the class. They enjoy the activity, which combines learning, play, and fine motor practice as they peel and place the stickers.
I completely agree with Lisa that using stickers as rewards can sometimes put extra pressure on children. Thank you so much for sharing this insight—it’s given me new ways to think and approach teaching, helping me think outside the box.
Thanks for sharing, Shirley! It’s great to hear about your experiences. Is there anything you see yourself changing after reading this post? I would love to hear more.
Aviva
Lisa, your blog has given me new perspectives on teaching and encouraged me to think outside the box. For example, I realize I need to carefully select the tools I use to support children’s learning. Some children, especially those who are more introverted, may feel uncomfortable speaking in front of the whole class. Moving forward, I will adjust my teaching approach and choose tools more thoughtfully.
Now I learnt the transition from teaching children self-control to developing children’s self-regulation is a significant and complex one. Unlike self-control, which often relies on external rules or discipline, self-regulation involves helping children understand and manage their own emotions, cues, and reactions. As educators we need guidance with patience and empathy. Instead of imposing strict nurturing, we can create a nurturing environment where children can safely explore their emotions, recognize their own needs, and gradually regulate their behavioral skills. This approach emphasizes natural, supportive strategies and encourages children to move through Learn through experience, gentle guidance and positive reinforcement.
Thanks for your comment, Shirley! It’s great to hear your perspective. I love how you mentioned, “adjust[ing] your teaching practices and choos[ing] tools more thoughtfully.” What do you see this looking like in the classroom? I would love to hear more!
Aviva
It is important help support children develop skills and strategies to help them self-regulate through compassion and empathy to reach their fullest potential.
Instead of using stickers, as they are not as intrinsic and can put extra pressure on children, which can lead to stress.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, Melodie! Again, I wonder if this might speak to co-regulation. What do you think?
Aviva
Identifying whether it is misbehaviour or stress behaviour is so important. If it is stress behaviour, the adult in control and trying to make the child behave would create further stress for the child. 🙁
Thanks for sharing, Agisa! How you do help determine if it’s misbehaviour or stress behaviour?” I would love to hear more!
Aviva
This was very interesting to read! The difference between Misbehavior and stress-behavior is fascinating and really gets me pausing to think while a child (or my child) is acting out.
My first couple years in the school, we used a sticker program to help with the behaviors in our class (this was post-covid, and the JK Crew we had was very high in behavior issues….) But it didnt work like we had hoped. This shows me why! haha.
“When using a sticker reward system, the adult is assuming that the child has full control of his or her behaviour and could demonstrate the desired behaviour if they wanted to, but sometimes choose not to do so.”
This portion resonated with me and really explains what happened that year.
Thanks for sharing your story, RaeAnn! This was very eye-opening to me too when I took the Foundations Course. It really has me re-thinking reward systems. What about you?
Aviva
exactly by this I got to know the difference between misbehaviour and stress behaviour
That is great to hear! What impact do you foresee this new understanding of yours having? I would love to hear more.
Aviva
This is so true and one of the hardest concepts to understand for some educators ,they view all behaviour as misbehaviour until they start thinking about what is driving the stress and the fact it is stress that is driving the stress behaviour.
Thanks for your comment! How might we support educators in seeing this difference? I would love to hear some different ideas.
Aviva
Esta lectura se volvió en principio un desafío para mí, pues el uso de calcomanías como sistema de recompensas es algo que te enseñan en la formación de la carrera de psicología, sin embargo en la práctica me resultaba poco congruente con aquello de esperar una respuesta genuina y no una mediada por una recompensa externa, hoy se reafirma esta idea. La estrategia de las calcomanías se basa en principios conductistas, que al final lo que busca es obtener una conducta desea y extinguir la no deseada pero sin pensar en lo importante, como esta se construye y a través de qué.
Sin embargo ahí viene el nuevo reto, promover un discurso y acciones afirmativas que convoquen a los cuidadores a la comprensión de estas respuestas más allá de lo “bueno o malo”, desde que conocí el programa Self Reg, tuve mayor confianza de basarme en una teoría científica de aquello que venía convencida desde mis primeros años de formación. Puedo decir que no es fácil, pero si funciona. Gracias por esto. estoy profundamente agradecida por esto.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here! I know that many educators support a rewards based approach in the classroom. Knowing what you know, what might you say to other educators? I wonder how we might engage in conversations to change perspectives. What do you think?
Aviva
I think as ECE teachers, we need to lower our expectations. In the mind of our children, they know what they are creating and As a teacher we need to meet their needs more positively. I can only imagine how Schhols and Daycares can be so stressful to children at any age.
Tracy
Thanks for your comment, Tracy! I wonder if this is “lowering our expectations” or instead having expectations that support developmentally appropriate practice? What do you think? I think high expectations are important for kids, but keeping in mind always the students in front of us and what those high expectations might look like for them. Maybe it’s a little bit different for everyone. Thoughts?
Aviva
I really like the concept of the article, it made me realize that helping children feel calm and supported is more important than just giving rewards.
Thanks for sharing, Nikita! I would be curious to hear what you might do differently, or think about more, after reading this article.
Aviva
very interesting topic. it is always important to identify the difference between stress behavior and misbehavior to support children.
Thanks Baljit! What are some ways that you do this? What have you noticed the impact to be? I would love to hear about some of your experiences.
Aviva
Shifting from self-control to self-regulation changed how I see children. Instead of thinking a child is just being bad or won’t listen, I now see a child who needs help from adults to learn how to calm down. This changes our job as educators. We should stop using punishments or giving out stickers as rewards. Instead, our new role is to support them, be patient, and teach them the real skills they need to handle their feelings.
Thanks Magali for sharing your evolving thoughts here. I wonder how you might help others see this thinking around Self-Reg versus self-control. What do you think?
Aviva
I really liked this reading because it helped me understand children’s behaviour in a different way. I learned that some behaviours come from stress and not from children trying to misbehave. It showed me how important it is for adults to stay calm and support children. I also liked the idea of using activities that fit children’s needs instead of only using rewards.
Thanks for sharing, Sara! What are some activities that you think might fit children’s needs (based on your own experiences)? I would love to hear more of your thoughts.
Aviva
This article was eye opening. We do use stickers as a reward program in my kindergarten classroom. I see reward systems used within the classroom for years. I understand it is more for self-control and not self-regulation, but what could be done differently?
Thanks for sharing, Amy! I think you make a great point about the distinction between Self-Reg and self-control. I wonder if this distinction could help with figuring out what to do differently. Thinking about behaviour through Self-Reg lens, and that children will do well if they can, what might instead support a child who is feeling dysregulated? Thinking about Shanker Self-Reg, I feel as though this would vary, depending on the child and the circumstances. What do you think?
Aviva