Children have such different ways of responding to being over-stressed. Some get physically ill. Some get nervous and anxious. Some become manic and hyperactive. Some have trouble going to sleep and others don’t want to do anything but sleep. Some won’t say a word and others won’t stop talking. Some [...]
How many times have you really needed and wanted to support a stressed out person, only to find that your supportive words just didn’t do the trick? (Pick me!) I’m sure we’ve all had this experience. It’s not always easy to find the right words to say to someone in [...]
“Can you cut my pancakes for me mom?” “No Siena, you need to cut your own pancakes.” Then came the 9-year-old version of a protest: that slumped over, big sigh drama moment about the unfairness of my response. In a perfectly non-Self-Reg parenting moment I responded, “You are more than [...]
I recognized the tone of voice right away. My friend Mara* was on the line. (*names changed at family’s request) “How are you doing?” I asked. “I’ve been better,” she replied. Mara’s voice caught a bit on the word better, the clear sign of someone trying to hold it together. [...]
When people ask me for advice about how to deal with a challenging behavioural issue from a child, I always start with my personal “Rule #1.” Whatever else you do, try not to make it worse. Why? Because if we don't make it worse, a lot of child behaviours, traits, [...]
In this vlog, Susan applies a Self-Reg lens to the question of whether or not giving children the message that strangers are dangerous really makes them safer. She shares her personal opinion that it might be better to help kids develop their own internal compass and learn to trust their [...]
As most of us know, parenting is an experience in which the learning never stops. Sometimes, the best way to gauge your progress as a parent is to stop and look back at how things used to be — six months or a year ago — and notice how much [...]
The other night I “pulled the plug” on Netflix for good. It was an easy decision after I used a Self-Reg lens to reframe a parenting problem I’d been struggling with for several months. Here’s where it started: “Siena, turn off the TV.” “Okay.” Followed by nothing. “Siena, are you [...]
This post is part of our Everyday Self-Reg series. When I was 21, my buddy Tom and I had this half-baked, youthfully idealistic notion that a lot of the world’s problems and conflicts could be solved if people would just be more playful and have more fun. As I grew [...]
This post is part of our Everyday Self-Reg series. I have spent almost thirty years writing about parenting. That includes: over 150 magazine articles more than a dozen parenting booklets brochures, blogs and web content interviews with over 100 educators and researchers interviews with several hundred parents hours of reflection [...]